other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
should my penis look like a turkey
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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