p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize