you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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