I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
