So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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