Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.