Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  SEEEEXXX PLEASE

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  (814): SEEEEXXX PLEASE http://tfl.nu/ygll
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

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  (610): He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab. http://tfl.nu/orgb
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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  (412): i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal http://tfl.nu/nm22
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.

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  (405): I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for. http://tfl.nu/jd67
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  (516): View more from New York

  Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on

  (917): View more from New York City

  Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.

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  (516): Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on (917): Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something. http://tfl.nu/buau
  Replies (3) Good night (2422) Bad night (813)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.

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  (908): He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca. http://tfl.nu/7ojr
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  (518): View more from New York

  At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out

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  (518): At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out http://tfl.nu/bjrp
  Replies (5) Good night (1051) Bad night (789)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  This theraflu would make for a great margarita.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  I can make a sudafedarita

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  (757): This theraflu would make for a great margarita. (1-757): I can make a sudafedarita http://tfl.nu/10lx
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  (949): View more from California

  He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.

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  (949): He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do. http://tfl.nu/7uqv
  Replies (10) Good night (1990) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?

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  (406): Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom? http://tfl.nu/1vyx
  Replies (10) Good night (546) Bad night (2265)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?

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  (678): When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was? http://tfl.nu/rsyp
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3360) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.

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  (289): If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf. http://tfl.nu/kp2h
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."

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  (248): So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits." http://tfl.nu/x9en
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.

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  (315): He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition. http://tfl.nu/pnv9
  Replies (8) Good night (1004) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt

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