i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober