You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
