Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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