dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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