It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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