he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize