The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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