mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
