Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
please don't ironically join a cult
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