I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
