she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
the raccoons are back...
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