is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
