Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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