He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
