WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
