oh god the rape fog is back!
Jerry, you need to find god
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
