I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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