What a fucking waste of an outfit
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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