I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
