Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
