My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
