If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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