I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
