porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
