Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
