reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
