Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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