So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
