Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
