woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
