You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
