eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
