5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
