We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
