ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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