It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
