And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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