I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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