So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
