I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
