Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
