Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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