I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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