I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
