I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
