I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
