Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
