I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
