After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
