Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
