We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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