how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Who died my cat blue again?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
