I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
