Sry I called you an 8
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
