if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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