If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
